A state of happiness and welfare, shuttered by sudden, and

unexpected loss and/or separation, the ensuing deep wounds

and pains, and the struggle of the psyche to recover is well

documented in the three movements of Eroica symphony,

opus 55. Essentially one dies. This death amounts and feels

like crossing the boundary of life and death.

Beethoven has documented only one descent into the realm

of nothingness, numbness, and death, and composed an exuberant

and joyful recovery and exodus from the abyss(in the third movement).

In reality, the pain is more excruciating because one is repeatedly,

and involuntarily entering the darkness. One does not know how

long one is lingering there, and what the hopes and chances

of recovery are. The process of descending is conscious, and

one struggles not to sink and succumb! One runs away on foot or in

automobile. One talks to strangers. One does crazy things. One

struggles, one despairs, one attempts to distract oneself from

the plunge, and one flees! One, precipitiously, is fallind down

a bottomless and dark well. One

tries to hold onto the slippery walls of the well, and yet one

sinks down faster, and, faster.

Once one has landed on the other side, one feels numb, empty and dead.

One is disoriented, exhausted, and without feelings, emotions or senses.

Yellow colors of the dull variety prevail.

If one is lucky, at some random unforeseen moment, one is pushed

somehow to the other side of the boundary – the live side.

After some lingering and distraction, one is pushed to the

dead side again! The process repeats. Sometime one is one both

sides: a foot on each side! Sometime, one is on neither side.